Ok so this is a bit of a continuation of my post earlier this week about Mommy Guilt and how I’ve had enough of that. Here’s another thing I’ve had enough of…
Is it better to be a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?
I’ve witnessed a few online debates in the last few weeks which inspired this rant/post. One debate is the classic working moms vs stay at home moms. Who is working harder, who is doing the “right” thing, whose “job” is more meaningful or important…
I mean, seriously, I’m no more interested in someone else’s need, choice or desire to work outside the home or not than I am in whether they decide to eat grains or not. It’s their business, not mine.
We’re all working our tushies off and every mother I know is a total badass. As a matter of fact, I think we all get props just for keeping our sh*t together each day (ok, most days anyway).
The second online feud I’ve seen a lot of lately, in particular when my friend and fellow blogger posted on her Facebook page about being grateful that her nanny cooked nutritious real food meals for their family, is the backlash of “a nanny?!” What kind of mother [who works from home 12+ hours per day] needs a nanny? It was an endless amount of comments vilifying her for not juggling her online business, her family, getting nourishing food on her table, etc etc. In contrast, my other friend who mentioned her “mommy’s helper”, whose tasks incidentally happen to be the same in these 2 cases, didn’t hear a peep of backlash. What the heck?
Do we really need to have the “who has it harder” debate? Whether we call someone a nanny or a mommy’s helper or whether we choose to go it alone and do without much help paid or otherwise, can’t we all just get along? We’re all doing our best and working our tushies off, either in or out of the home or both. Do we need to go to such great lengths to prove to ourselves, our peers, the world that we’re superheros?
At different stages of life I’ve been a :
- single teenage mom in school and working
- stay at home mom (by the way… stay?! I did a hell of a lot more than “stay” but I digress)
- double income working mom
- husband gone for 7 months with full time nanny while working mom
- working mom/breadwinner with stay at home dad husband
I’ve run the gamut.
All scenarios had their pros and cons but I can tell you this:
I was not a better or worse mother or woman in ANY scenario.
It’s time we hold hands and sing kumbaya, people. I’m beggin’ ya!